Emotional Wellbeing

We’re going to explore the profound and lasting impact parental comments have on adult self-talk, shedding light on how these early influences can shape our inner dialogue, self-esteem, and overall mental health.

When we consider the factors that shape our self-perception and inner dialogue, the influence of parental comments stands out as particularly significant. From the earliest stages of life, the words parents use can become deeply ingrained, serving as the foundation for our self-talk well into adulthood. Despite the playground chant of: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words shall never hurt me.” the reality is that words, especially from parents, can leave lasting psychological impacts.

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You can find here some useful strategies for coping with strong, negative emotions when they arise, and also suggestions for maintaining inner calm so that when difficult feelings do appear, they are less challenging to sit with and can be used appropriately in guiding us towards that which may need to be addressed.

Emotions

Emotions are a vital part of what makes us human; they are our guides and motivators and are essential in helping us navigate the world. They tell us what we do and don’t like and what we need. Sometimes, however, they can be powerful and overwhelming. Here are ten ways to cope with, and manage, intense feelings: [Read more…]

In this post, we explore the Window of Tolerance; what it is, how stress can take us out of it and suggestions as to how we can get back within our own, unique ‘windows’ and thus restore calm and boost our ability to cope.

What is the Window of Tolerance?

The Window of Tolerance is a concept created by Dr Dan Siegel that can be described as the ‘optimal zone’ of nervous system arousal. When we are rational, emotionally balanced, flexible, responsive and able to successfully manage life’s day to day challenges without getting too ruffled, we can be said to be operating within our Window of Tolerance. [Read more…]

In this post, some thoughts about where denied emotional needs may reside and how we can reconnect – and respond effectively – to them.

Unconscious Self-Sabotage

Many are familiar with the term “self-sabotage” – meaning to get in our own way and prevent ourselves from achieving our goals and fulfilling our hopes and dreams. Not always a conscious choice, self-sabotage is often driven instead by the unconscious – the part of our psyche that operates outside of conscious awareness – that can leave us confused as to why we have said or done something that is completely opposed to our conscious choices, wishes and perhaps, our best interests. [Read more…]

In this post, a take on what self-care really is and what areas we can explore and/or improve, to achieve more of it.

“Self-care” is a term seen often in the media, but doesn’t seem to come with much of an explanation of what it actually is – other than the obligatory ‘hot bath and scented candles’ advice. Self-care is, in my opinion, about seeking out that which nurtures us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, i.e. caring for the whole self. It’s the ongoing development of a decent, good enough relationship with the ‘self’. After all, it’s the only person we will have a life long relationship with! Here, I share a few of my ideas of what self-care could be. [Read more…]

Childhood plays a crucial role in shaping our emotional, cognitive, and social development. However, when individuals experience arrested development during this period, their growth and maturation may be hindered, potentially leading to lasting effects on their relationships and self-esteem in later life. This article explores the concept of arrested development and its impact on individuals as they navigate adulthood.

Understanding Arrested Development

Arrested development refers to a condition where an individual’s emotional, psychological, or social development stagnates or fails to progress at the expected rate during childhood. This may occur due to various factors, such as trauma, neglect, dysfunctional family dynamics, or lack of adequate support systems. When a child’s developmental milestones are not adequately addressed, it can have far-reaching consequences in adulthood. [Read more…]

Introduction: Who goes to counselling and why?

Counselling plays a pivotal role in the mental health and wellbeing of individuals, offering support and guidance to those facing various challenges. In the United Kingdom, counselling services have become increasingly popular over the years as mental health awareness grows. This article explores the demographics of people who attend counselling in the UK and sheds light on the reasons why they seek such support. [Read more…]

In this post, there are some examples of cognitive distortions – unhelpful thinking styles that can cause us emotional distress and get in the way of taking positive action towards a happier and more balanced way of being.

Fact or Fiction?

Our thoughts can be very convincing. They can make us believe certain things are fact, when perhaps, the reality is quite different. Whilst our thoughts may not always be telling us the truth, they feel true and so we buy into them. We judge them to be rational and our subsequent behaviours are therefore deemed perfectly reasonable. For instance, we may think a friend is upset with us when they ignore us at a party and so we delete them as a contact or we may think, as we didn’t pass something first time, we’re bound to fail again, so we don’t bother trying. [Read more…]

In this post, Penni takes a look at how healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) can begin by reconnecting to emotions with compassionate curiosity, uncovering the cause of those feelings and deciding thoughtfully how to act upon them.

If emotions aren’t validated in childhood, the result is a walling off of our emotional world that continues into adulthood. Being disconnected from our emotions due to CEN (Childhood Emotional Neglect) means being unable to access a wealth of information – messages – that guide and inform us and help us to lead the life that is best for our own, unique needs. If we have become walled off from our feelings, it can be hard to know just how we feel, or what exactly to do with those feelings. [Read more…]

Here are five tips to help reduce anxiety.

Unlike fear, anxiety is all about perceived future based threats – the ‘what-ifs’ that we all experience from time to time. Anxiety tells us to fight or run (which, if we are under threat, would be the right thing to do!) however, paradoxically, if the anxiety alarm rings when it doesn’t need to and we respond, we actually reinforce it. [Read more…]