We’re going to explore the profound and lasting impact parental comments have on adult self-talk, shedding light on how these early influences can shape our inner dialogue, self-esteem, and overall mental health.

When we consider the factors that shape our self-perception and inner dialogue, the influence of parental comments stands out as particularly significant. From the earliest stages of life, the words parents use can become deeply ingrained, serving as the foundation for our self-talk well into adulthood. Despite the playground chant of: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words shall never hurt me.” the reality is that words, especially from parents, can leave lasting psychological impacts.

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In this post, Penni explores some of the reasons why humans have a need to control. Understanding what may be underlying a need to control can be a helpful starting point for those who wish to practice controlling less and letting go more – or the opposite!

Humans are biologically hard-wired to seek control over their environment. From an evolutionary perspective, being able to have some control over what was an unpredictable environment created a sense of safety through the reduction of uncertainty. This instinct for control was critical for survival and therefore the continuation of the species. The human landscape has changed significantly but this instinct to be in control remains. There are 6 reasons why – and they’re not all bad! [Read more…]

You can find here some useful strategies for coping with strong, negative emotions when they arise, and also suggestions for maintaining inner calm so that when difficult feelings do appear, they are less challenging to sit with and can be used appropriately in guiding us towards that which may need to be addressed.

Emotions

Emotions are a vital part of what makes us human; they are our guides and motivators and are essential in helping us navigate the world. They tell us what we do and don’t like and what we need. Sometimes, however, they can be powerful and overwhelming. Here are ten ways to cope with, and manage, intense feelings: [Read more…]

In this third and final post around the subject of what may lie behind the experience of anxiety, we share some valuable information about the different neural pathways involved in anxiety.

Two Neural Pathways to Anxiety

There are two primary neural pathways for anxiety; the cortex and the amygdala. Each pathway can initiate the emotion of anxiety in different ways. Understanding which pathway is behind the experience of anxiety can help in choosing the best way to address symptoms. [Read more…]

In this second post on what may cause us to experience anxiety, we explore ‘self-concept’; how it is formed and why, if incomplete, it can cause stress and unhelpful thinking styles, that can lead to anxiety.

Self-Concept

Our self-concept can be simply defined as a fairly comprehensive, general idea of who we are – what we know about ourselves from a physical world perspective. Our interests, what we do and don’t like, what we’re good at, where we might need to improve and our strengths and weaknesses. When it’s complete and accurate, it guides us to make decisions that work best for us. [Read more…]

In a series of three posts, we share knowledge of some of the underlying reasons for anxiety. Taken from different schools of psychology as well as her own anecdotal experience, we introduce some fundamental perspectives on where anxiety may originate, so that those who endure can add a ‘because’ to their experience, opening up the opportunity to heal the cause and so reduce anxiety.

Drivers

In the school of psychotherapy called Transactional Analysis (or TA for short) it is suggested that for most of us, our autonomy is under the influence of a concept known as ‘Drivers’. Drivers are said to develop during childhood and are the internalized messages of our parents or caregivers that we learned in order to stay feeling ok. Because these messages were absorbed very early on, they tend to be quite deeply rooted and often outside of our conscious awareness, but it is possible to notice them through our behaviours. There are five Drivers in total. Here’s what they look like: [Read more…]

In this post, we explore and take a look at three defined parenting styles and how they may impact the child.

Background

In the 1960’s, the research of clinical and developmental psychologist Dr Diana Baumrind led her to define three types of parenting styles; authoritative, authoritarian and permissive. Below we take a look at Dr Baumrind’s three styles and their possible impact on the child:

Authoritative

Considered the best of all the parenting styles, the authoritative approach combines nurture and validation with rules and discipline. The authoritative parent is considerate of the child’s feelings and opinions and allows them to make their own decisions, but within firm, defined limits. They explain consequences and set strong boundaries. This type of parent typically uses positive discipline – rather than harsh punishments – through rewarding and reinforcing positive behaviour. [Read more…]

In this post, we explore research that links diet to mental health and how dietary changes may have positive outcomes for those who experience the symptoms of anxiety.

Over the last ten years or so, scientists have been uncovering more and more links between what we eat and our mental health, with most studies focusing on the link between depression and the gut. In more recent years, however, expert attention has been given to expanding this concept and how more mental health conditions, including anxiety, could be in some way linked to what we eat and therefore treated through dietary changes. [Read more…]

In this post, we explore the Window of Tolerance; what it is, how stress can take us out of it and suggestions as to how we can get back within our own, unique ‘windows’ and thus restore calm and boost our ability to cope.

What is the Window of Tolerance?

The Window of Tolerance is a concept created by Dr Dan Siegel that can be described as the ‘optimal zone’ of nervous system arousal. When we are rational, emotionally balanced, flexible, responsive and able to successfully manage life’s day to day challenges without getting too ruffled, we can be said to be operating within our Window of Tolerance. [Read more…]

In this article, we’re exploring how counselling and legal support services work hand in hand during a separation.

A divorce or separation is rarely simple and separation agreement solicitors are among those calling for more comprehensive support networks for those who find themselves struggling to cope during this difficult time.

During a separation it’s important to equip yourself with the right legal and emotional support. In this article, we’re looking at how counselling and legal support work hand in hand in separation cases. [Read more…]